But Seriously, What Does the US have Against Working Moms?
Takeaways from the Moms First Summit: Part 4 [Final]
Hi there. I’m here with the final post in my 4-part series inspired by takeaways from the Moms First Summit – not that I won’t continue to reflect on and weave in insights from the event for some time to come. 🤔
Today we explore what working parents are up against in the US, with some historical reference to the systemic governmental practices of dictating women’s choices while simultaneously releasing responsibility, and the dismal – yet hopeful? – comparison with Sweden’s family- and gender equality-oriented policies.
Has Feminism Missed Motherhood?
Reshma Saujani places motherhood and family rights at the center of the fight for gender equality in her work with Moms First. She posed the question of whether feminism has left out motherhood in her spicy interview with Hillary Clinton at the summit, asking if the 1970s were the moment to pass paid leave. (The 1970s were of course during feminism’s “second wave,” when Betty Friedan’s The Feminine Mystique was published, and the women’s movement had several wins including the “Equal Pay” Act, Title IX, birth control rights, and Roe v Wade). In response to the question, Hillary revealed (in news to me), that the US Congress had in fact passed a universal childcare bill in 1973, but it was vetoed by then-president Nixon. 🚫
In reading Anne Helen Petersen’s interview with Jessica Calarco (author of Holding it Together: How Women Became America’s Safety Net), I learned that the US previously had a robust affordable national childcare system during World War II to maintain the US economy by bringing women into the workforce. This program was wildly successful, yet was de-funded and abandoned as soon as men returned home from the war. Additionally, pre-war policies banning mothers from working or allowing them to only work undesirable, low-wage jobs, were reinstituted. Talk about going backwards! 🔙
What’s really underneath this repeated regression?
Hillary suggests in the case of Nixon that the right wing had decided it was an issue they wanted, not a problem to solve. Classic politics. I dug into this history a bit and found out that “fake news” about this legislation spread via flyers amongst fundamentalist women’s groups and the resulting letters of protest to Congress created pressure causing Congress members to cave. The rumors had irrational claims that parents would be forced to put their kids in federal daycares, and furthermore, would no longer have the right to make their children go to church or do chores. 🤷 Either way, the messaging was that traditional family models with the mother at home were the best place for women to be, and allowing females to be a part of the workforce had “family weakening implications.”
But ultimately, supporting women – and moms – benefits everyone.
It’s not a personal issue, a mom’s issue, or even a women’s issue – it’s a critical socio-economic one, on which the US is WAY behind. What is possible when the mindset shifts to one that believes it is in our “collective best interest for children to be raised well?” Caitlyn Collins, author of Making Motherhood Work: How Women Manage Careers and Caregiving, shares with Ezra Klein how this plays out in Sweden.
Support for Working Parents
Sweden v the US (not hard to guess who’s on top with this one)
Parental Leave
🇸🇪 480 days paid parental leave (3 mos reserved for each parent to encourage fathers to utilize, the rest shared between); Paid at 80% of wages, with employers typically paying the remaining 10-20%
🇺🇲 No federal parental leave policy; Policies vary by state and company; Only ~27% of civilian workers have access to paid leave; 25% of mothers return to work after only 2 weeks of leave; Non-birthing parents with leave access are routinely stigmatized for taking it and typically don’t use the full amount
Part-Time Work
🇸🇪 Legal right to reduce working hours from 40 to 30 for the first 8 years of your child’s life
🇺🇲 No rights to work part-time and practically unheard of in corporate America
Childcare
🇸🇪 High-quality early childhood education including meals, subsidized and sliding scale with the max cost at $175 USD/month
🇺🇲 No universal childcare; Childcare for two children is more expensive than rent in every single US state; 50% of Americans reside in areas without access to childcare
Paid Vacation
🇸🇪 Everyone is entitled to 25 days paid vacation, of which 4 consecutive weeks can be taken in the summer during the height of sunshine and sunlight. HELLO, mental health and well-being!
🇺🇲 No right to paid time off for vacation or sick days. Once again, up to employers and their company culture. And taking multiple weeks off in a row? Ha!
Community Infrastructure
🇸🇪 Bonding not only with your child, but with other parents, is a major component of parental leave, with well-established community centers and public activities available. Parents and kids build valuable and supportive long-term relationships with other families. (This is also a key point Erin Hug mentioned in her essay comparing her leave experience in Canada vs the US.)
🇺🇲 Parents (especially mothers) have never felt so isolated, and postpartum depression is prevalent. Guilt and shame overwhelm most working parents. There is no time or energy to connect with other parents. Aside from public library programs (which are awesome!), communities and classes can cost an arm and a leg, and it’s usually nannies attending, not the parents (since they’re back at work despite the newborn status of their kiddo).
Fertility Rates (# births/woman)
Virtually the same in the US and Sweden, but Sweden doesn’t seem to be freaking out about it – their policies are intended to support gender equality and family rights, not force people to have kids.
🇸🇪 1.67
🇺🇲 1.66
🌍 2.27
Impact
🇸🇪 Gender- and family-friendly policies have NOT hurt GDP, innovation, and economic productivity. Ezra Klein points out that if anything, their policies could be seen as pro-work since they enable parents (read: moms) to participate in the workplace. Individuals have the support to make family decisions that are right for them. Dads play an active role at home – it’s normal for a father to leave work in the middle of the afternoon to pick up their kid from school. And Sweden is consistently ranked in the top 7 of the world’s happiest countries.
🇺🇲 The high rates of stress and burnout in the US along with impossible societal expectations to dedicate yourself 100% to your job and 100% to your children (for mothers) are NOT sustainable. Even non-parents are at or beyond breaking point. The Council for a Strong America estimates that the childcare crisis costs the US economy $122 billion due to lost earnings, productivity, and tax revenue!
Now what?
A Call to Action
(Thoughts on candidates aside), petition CNN to address the childcare disaster in the upcoming presidential debate.
Employers and managers: when’s the last time you asked the parents on your team how they were really doing? What flexible options could you consider that would make a significant difference in the lives of your parents (and their ability to contribute at work)?
Thoughts
While for those of us in the US, the lack of any social support coupled with anti-family and anti-mom policies feel depressing and hopeless, at least we know there are models that other countries have adopted that can work. I’d love to hear from:
Parents in the US
What support have you been able to obtain as a working parent?
What sacrifices have you had to make (career/family) because you didn’t have a choice?
What change (policy or otherwise) would make/have made the most meaningful impact on you and your family?
Folks in countries with family-friendly policies
If a parent, what has that opened up for you?
If a non-parent, how do you view the overall impact on society?
If you’re navigating the working parenthood journey at any stage, schedule a complimentary coaching session – this shouldn’t feel so isolating!