From Force to Flow: When Letting Go Brings What You Need
A personal reflection on burnout, parenting, and the quiet magic of ease
Not going to lie… I’ve been struggling a bit lately. (Yes, coaches are only human, ha!)
It’s felt like everything is just hard. And while I fully acknowledge my role in choosing a life stacked with challenge after challenge, recently I’ve felt exhausted and wondering what it would be like if just one thing felt easy. (With this administration only adding to the weight.)
A strong underlying hope/ambition for me is ease over force, yet I still find myself striving, attempting too many things at once, and being left with little energy.
My nature to make things happen is no surprise—assessments consistently place achiever/deliverer, learner/philomath, and activator/catalyst in my top five strengths. These qualities have propelled me forward in life and work.
But here’s the cost: constant drive, the need to go deep and wide, and exceedingly high standards often leave me depleted. (No, not a new lesson for me!)
When I’m not resourced, I can’t show up for myself or others in the way I want—and need—to.
Take preschool drop-offs, for instance. My daughter is navigating separation anxiety, and those goodbyes? Absolutely heart-wrenching. Teachers reassure me she settles quickly, but my nervous system? Completely fried. I’m following the wisdom of trusted parenting psychologists like Dr. Becky and Dr. Tovah Klein, doing everything I can to help her feel safe, secure, and loved.
But all this doing might actually be stressing me out more than just being—accepting toddlerhood (and the so-called “threenager” stage) for what it is and leaning in.
When I skip my breathing, meditation, or physical movement, I’m setting myself up to spiral faster than a toddler tantrum. And if I ignore my need for legit rest, my ability to regulate my nervous system? Gone.
This is where ease over force gets tricky. I’ve always wished I could simply envision what I want and have it magically appear—manifestation, right? But I’ve never been great at it. Or so I thought.
Because sometimes, the universe listens. Last week, I scribbled the word desert on a piece of paper. I was craving that dry, expansive calm that past trips to dry, barren landscapes have given me. I figured maybe I’d plan a trip later in the year.
The very next day, my sister called: “Want to meet me in Arizona this weekend? I have a place to stay, a rental car, and it’s all covered.” A quick check revealed I had flight credits for a direct ticket. My parents were all-in to watch my daughter.
✨ Pure magic. ✨
That desert trip was everything I needed. I came back rested 🛏️, sun-kissed ☀️, and—more importantly—reconnected to a calm, restored version of myself 😌. It shifted my energy, my parenting, and my work.
It also made me pause and wonder: Does it all have to be so hard?
Food for Thought:
Where in your life are you pushing when you could try softening?
What’s one small way you could invite more ease into your week?
How do you know when you’re running on empty? What truly refuels you?
When was the last time you noticed “magic” or an unexpected alignment? What might that be telling you?
Ease doesn’t mean passive. It means aligned. And sometimes, the simple act of letting go creates the space for exactly what you need to find its way in.
So, where can you loosen your grip today?
Otherwise Soaking In
Here’s what else has been pulling me in lately:
Becoming Led Zeppelin: the new documentary origin story of the band and its wildly talented musicians, in theatres now
Faith, Hope, and Carnage: a deeply soulful discussion between Nick Cave and Seán O’Hagan on grief, religion, and the creative songwriting process—even if you buy the hard-copy, listen to the audio version!
Nightbitch: an absolutely brilliant film adaptation of Rachel Yoder’s book on the isolation, identity loss, and sacrifice of motherhood, featuring Amy Adams, available on Hulu